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	The Abandoned Station		*NEWS*

Exhibits Videos Writings Larry's Wad Topical Runoff Bios Details Contact Us F.A.Q. Links Nothing Here's a Thought Nothing	The Beach Journal (remember?) is available for purchase in ebook form (wave of the future, you crafty bastards) through our page at lulu.com. Go have a drink to celebrate.	Props of the Week: Dave Navarro This wonderful digital book of brain-cracked poetry is almost available for mega-purchase. Click HERE because you are a good, cultured uber man (or woman) wanting more information.	*Jan.29/2012* *New short story: Eyes in Your Salad* *Ian.18/2012* *Gotta do it:* STOP PIPA and SOPA *Jan.15/2012* *New album review - Hands & Teeth's Hunting Season - in Sound Checks. And new section: Here's a Thought* *Jan.12/2012* *Jan/Feb issue of Tarana Ding Dong out now. So you can find the Nov/Dec issue right here.* *Dec.31/2011* *Larry's Wad: 2011 Review - This One Was Worse Than The Last* *Dec.15/2011* *New Topical Runoff: Christmas is Dead, Long Live Christmas* *Dec.12/2011* *New screenplay sample (it's been awhile): The Wrong Floor* *Nov.29/2011* *Hey, another big essay: Fragments of Ideas Concerning Free Will and Political Freedom* *Nov.15/2011* *Nov/Dec issue of Tarana Ding Dong out now. So you can find the Sept/Oct issue right here.* *Nov.11/2011* *New Sound Checks: Double Albums* *Oct.28/2011* *New short story: Crying Over Soiled Milk* *Oh, and you can now buy 'The Beach Journal'. The whole damn thing.* *Oct.12/2011* *New Larry's Wad: The Occupation of the Abstract (The Wall Street Protests)* *Sept.28/2011* *New Topical Runoff essay: Leave Chewie Alone!* A Look at the Tinkering of one’s work post-release *Sept.14/2011* *New large essay: The West's Brief Twentieth Century Golden Age* *Sept.11/2011* *Sept/Oct issue of Tarana Ding Dong out now. Meaning July/Aug issue right here.* *Aug.28/2011* *New short story: Killin' Time* *Aug.13/2011* *New Larry's Wad: 2011- Summer of Discontent* *July.31/2011* *New bits o' poetry (oh god, no please, anything but that!)* *July.17/2011* *New Topical Runoff: Means to Offend - Schindler's List and Tracy Morgan* *July.8.2011* *The July/August issue is now available in rather select locations, but that also means the May/June is issue is available here!* *June.25/2011* *New Short Story: Remember These Colours* *June.11/2011* *Big ass article on Postmodern Pop Culture* *May.28/2011* *New Sound Checks Essay: Some 2011 Music Observations* *May.15/2011* *New Short Story: Your Smoldering Now* *May.11/2011* *The March/April issue of Tarana Ding Dong is online, which can only mean the May/June issue is on discerning newsstands now!!* *April.25/2011* *New Larry's Wad: Uh Canada* *April.12/2011* *New Topical Runoff: Mindless Movie Categorizing, Round 1* *March.31/2011* *Big, big article on postmodernism and politics called Postmodern Politics* *March.20/2011* *The incredible Mystery Doctor returns just when you need him, commenting on World Instability* *March.11/2011* *The January/February 2011 Issue of Tarana Ding Dong is now available online, which means the March/April is available in random places* *Feb.25/2011* *New Sound Checks: The Beatles and Radiohead (AND, not versus)* *Feb.13/2011* *New Topical Runoff: Christopher Nolan - 90% Brilliance, 10% Sleight of Hand* *Jan.31/2011* *New exhibit (really just a long ass essay): The Suppression of Dissent* *Jan.24/2011* *New poetry! Fina-fucking-lee, right?* *Jan.15/2011* *The November/December issue of Tarana Ding Dong is now available online, which means clever people might find the January/February issue in selected physical locations* *Dec.31/2010* *Larry's Wad: 2010 in Review*
		Timetables Coming Soon! (in the meantime, why dontcha wander down to your closest intercity rail system station and ask for the first ticket out your jerkwater berg?)
	This is a computer. It is an electronic device that can store large amounts of information and display high quality digital images of young women giving unidentifiable men blowjobs. You probably recognize it, because you are more than likely using one now to view this page (if you are viewing this page without the aid of a computer, please send us a telepathic message immediately).
		See, originally we were going to start a webpage of just stuff like this, but you'd be surprised how few sexually suggestive body parts there truly are. I mean, has anyone really seen a Fallopian tube? "Oh, sir! That's funnier than a vegetable that has grown into a rude and amusing shape!" - Private Baldrick, Blackadder
	Another urban legend laid to rest. All twenty six are present and accounted for. And no, we did not maul a 'u' to create the 'j'.
		While we do not necessarily hold the views of the scrawl to the right (a world without freedom of expression and chili fries is not a world anyone should be forced to live in), we can't help wondering if our species would be better off still living in caves and being victim of run-by stonings and saber-toothed tiger attacks instead of being subject to greenhouse gases and way too many unstable people with high powered rifles (although one had much less choice in TV programming back then, that's for sure). A skit inspired by the photo.
	things that could make this website better: -shiner graphics -ads that encourage you to shoot the duck, catch the fly, lasso the cow, feed the monkey, denounce the racist, etc. so you can win an iPod -lesbians (obviously) -a conservative columnist -coupons for your local grocery store -explosions (only ones with fire. And actually, that reminds us of a giant explosion in Die Hard 2 where this plane is deliberately given incorrect altitude information by terrorists so it crashes in a massive fireball, despite the fact that the fuel tanks are nearly empty, which is acknowledged by the pilots, the terrorists, and the airport personnel) things we promise to work on in this year: -potty training (don't worry, we'll videotape it) -speech development (according to blankees.com, this website should put two or three words together, follows simple directions, and understand basic questions like, 'where is your nose?') -reuniting the czech and slovak republics (of course the capital will still be Prague) -less references to nineties action movie sequels -something more family friendly. like incest jokes. and perhaps taking an unusual stand on gay adoption. -we'll finally get to the bottom of whether soft drugs truly are softer than their supposedly 'harder' counterparts	The top photo is cancer. The photo below is not. By the way, everything on this page - and all linked pages with the root address 'abandonedstation.com' - is Copyright 2006-2011, abandonedstation productions